As well as being a platform for JKers to have a good old rant about the world of technology and PR, 'Whatever...' will periodically be running guest blogs from friends who live beyond the (fire)walls of Johnson King Towers.
So, in the first of an irregular series, we're pleased, nay, honoured to have our first guest blog written by Mr Graham Cluley of Sophos, who can be seen dispensing pithy pearls of wisdom on IT security literally every time you turn your TV on. Here, Graham gives us valuable advice on...
How to stop hiccups when speaking to a journalist
There are some trade secrets which you have a moral duty to share with other spokespeople around the world. My work revolves around being a spokesmodel for Sophos, one of the world's largest computer security companies. Minutes matter when it comes to telling the world about the latest virus outbreak, and one of the worst things that can happen to you mid-call is to be assailed by hiccups whilst going into essential technical detail of the vulnerabilities that companies need to patch in the next 30 minutes.
I've tried everything to stop hiccups. Holding my breath, drinking a glass of water upside down (which risks drowning via the nostrils), having a colleague burst a paper bag behind my head. In the past, I even had a girlfriend tell me that she's pregnant in a vain attempt to stop involuntary spasms of my diaphragm. None of these are definite fixes, and they don't really work when you're going full steam into the financial motives of hackers operating from a basement somewhere in darkest Peru.
And then, one day, a friend showed me a cure for hiccups which really does work. Every time. And it's portable, and doesn't require standing on your head or having a crisp packet to hand.
When you start hiccuping, take your left hand, hold it in front of you, and press perpendicularly on the thumb nail with your right thumb and index finger.
Press hard.
You should see your thumb begin to turn a bit red.
Keep pressing!
If you do this for long enough, you will control your hiccups, and they will disappear.
Now, you're probably not on an important PR call right now, and you probably won't have hiccups today. But one day, soon, you will be hit by hiccups, and you won't know how to get rid of them. Try this technique.
It may seem bonkers, but it really does work.
(and yes, Graham even drew the pictures...)
Bloody hell, this actually works. Tried this on my daughter's friend when she was suffering from a severe bout of hiccups. Admittedly, she wasn't in the middle of a journalist interview but she was about to go on a hot date so I guess she was in a similar state of excitement.
Posted by: Mike King | 24 August 2006 at 09:17
Huzzah! Another success! I trust you are now ready to become one of my disciples Mike and spread the good word that a cure for hiccups has been found?
PS. Did the technical diagrams come in useful?
Posted by: Graham Cluley | 09 September 2006 at 11:27
Used this Cluley miracle tip again yesterday for another friend of another daughter (I've got three) and it, of course, worked. I referenced it to GC of course. Mind you, I couldn't remember whether right thumb gets squeezed by left thumb/index finger combination or vice versa so I went with left thumb being on the receiving end of the squeeze and it worked.
Twice in a few weeks, is there a danger of hiccupping reaching epidemic proportions amoung the youth of today? Without the GC cure I feel there could be. Nobel prize for contribution to....errr...young hiccuppers for GC?
PS Couldn't have done it without the diagrams.
Posted by: Mike King | 11 September 2006 at 17:16